Saturday, December 4, 2010

The Last Christmas

Last year (I think) we got a new Christmas album. It was Sixpence None the Richer's "The Dawn of Grace". We listened to it several times over the Christmas season and I remember hearing this song, but I don't think I actually listened to the lyrics. I put some Christmas music on the other day and the words of this song just jumped out at me. It is now MY song for this Christmas. It just speaks so clearly of what I am feeling and thinking right now. I love it.

Ok, I realize anyone reading this knows full well that we are expecting a new baby.  Just in case any strangers wander by my blog I'll throw this out there. A fourth little Neumann should be joining us on or around May 28, 2011. We are so excited.

Back to my song. =) If you want to hear it, here is a link:

I start crying just reading the lyrics and I don't think it's just the hormones. Although, I don't take them completely out of the picture either. =)
The Last Christmas


I feel your heart beating
Inside my own skin
And I think of Mary
In Bethlehem
That night in a stable
Our Saviour was born
Yes, we have so much
To be thankful for
On the last Christmas
The last Christmas
The last Christmas
Without you

We're choosing the colors
Preparing your room
For one day; Midsummer
The advent of you
Together we wait for
A heavenly gift
Is winter a wonder?
Enchanted that this is

The last Christmas
The last Christmas
The last Christmas
Without you

See the stars shining from above
Hear the seraphm singing
Praise to the Giver of Life and Love
Maker of Beautiful things..

I feel you heart beating
Inside my own skin
And I think of Mary
In Bethlehem
When darkness was shattered
The dawn of God's grace
And the journey'd begun
To the first Easter day
On the this Christmas
The last Christmas
The last Christmas
The very last Christmas
The last Christmas (x 3)
Without you

Epic Fail

Well. So much for my New Year's resolution. Let's see... a grand total of two blog posts for 2010 and the year only has 28 more days. That has got to be a new low.

Looking back I know why I wasn't writing. So, so many reasons, and none of them good enough. This year has not been one of my best. I am looking forward to 2010 ending and a whole new year beginning with fresh hopes, dreams, and plans. This past year has held a lot of sorrow for me and in my struggle to deal with it, writing was the last thing I felt I had the energy for. Now, in hindsight, I do regret that fact. I regret not being candid and writing when the pain was fresh. I regret not documenting this year in my children's lives. They are always changing and when I read the old blog posts about the kids I always have a smile on my face. I'm sad that they're aren't any for 2010. There are barely any from 2009! Especially for Micah. He went from a cute little blob to an talking, walking, whirlwind of a boy and there is no reflection of that in my blog. So, so sad.

Alright, wallowing in regrets will get me nowhere. Once again I will resolve to do better, and with that resolve firm in hand I look to the future and it is bright and full of writing. I'll kick it off with taking a picture a day for the month of December and committing to blogging at least once a month in 2011. That's a reasonable goal. There you have it, keep me accountable!